Clarence prologue

You play by clicking on the colorful options provided. CONTENT WARNING: This story includes elements and mentions of family issues, loss of a parent, mental health problems and medication. Are you comfortable with that? [[Yes, I am okay to proceed. I will stop playing if I become too uncomfortable to continue.->ackgnowlegement]] [[I'd rather not engage with those themes, thank you.->thank you for playing]]

Five more minutes shouldn't hurt... except they do. You hit the snooze button on your phone and go back to sleep, but something clearly goes wrong and the next time you wake up, the clock screams "10:32" at you. You could swear it looks almost judgemental. So... The class ended two hours ago. Not great. Dad is gonna be pissed. You'll deal with it later. For now, it's time to get on with your day. [[Look around the room.->room 2]]

You slowly open one eye, then the other and turn off the alarm. You can't afford to skip class anymore, you have too many absences already. You drag yourself out of bed. It's time to get on with your day. [[Look around the room.->room]]

Some old toys. A disassembled dollhouse. A little decorative shelf for your empty testosterone vials that you never got around to finishing. It's a bit of a mess. [[Look around the room.->room]]

Not much to see. Just the school online platform, open. No new messages. [[Look around the room.->room]]

The downstairs. It's not much of a landing, this isn't a big house. The stairs lead straight out to the dining room. Dad is sitting at the table, eating his breakfast. He's reading the news on his phone. He looks up as you walk in. "Hey, kid," he says. [["Hi, dad."->talk to dad]] [[Ignore him. Go to the kitchen.->go to the kitchen]] [[Go back upstairs->leav the room]]

Dad's bedroom. Empty. He should be downstairs, getting ready for work. [[Look at the bed.->dad's bed]] [[Look at the night stands->night stands]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

He doesn't look happy - he never does - but he doesn't look angry you're talking to him. And he did start it. So. It's on him if nothing else. "How are you doing?" He asks. Ugh. You hate that line of questioning. How are you supposed to nicely say "sorry, dad, my brain doesn't make enough of the happy chemicals and I'm miserable most of the time"? So you usually don't say anything, really. [[Make an effort today. Try.]] [[Fuck that noise. Ignore him. This was a bad idea. Go get your breakfast.->go to the kitchen]]

The kitchen is small. Very limited counter space, and only a mini fridge. Could be worse, though - the view from the backdoor window is nice. It's the only room in the house you can't see the ocean from. Dad left a plate of breakfast for you. [[Look at the plate.->breakfast]]

Eggs, toast. Fine, as far as brakfasts go. [[Well... bottom's up...->eat]] [[You'd rather not, actually.->don't]]

You don't have to look very hard, to be honest. Dad has you keep them on the kitchen counter. They're organised in this annoying little pill organiser. Dad keeps filling it. You indulge him. [[You should indulge him more by taking them today.->take]] [[You're not a big fan of putting a substance in your body that actively makes you feel bad while trying (and failing) to make you feel better. No, thanks. ->don't2]]

You chew automatically through the sad breakfast, not bothering to sit down. You stare absent-mindedly at the wall, brain still trying to catch up with being awake. Your stomach rumbles unhappily at every bite. You've been having nausea because of the new meds for the past few days. Speaking of which... [[Look for your meds.->meds]]

It's gonna worry dad, but you can't bring yourself to eat. You've been having nausea because of the new meds for the past few days. Speaking of which... [[Look for your meds.->meds]]

Horse pills. They go down with a glass of water. They start dissolving into awful bitterness as soon as they hit your tongue and scratch your throat on the way down. But, hey, it's done. [[Nothing left to do here... time to head back to the room. Back to the living room.->go to the living room]]

Dad is still at the table. He looks at you, expecting... something. [[Talk to him...?->talk to dad 2]] [[Just go upstairs.->go upstairs]]

"You take your meds, kid?" He asks. Kid. Always kid. Never 'son', your name only sometimes. You swallow the anger. It's more bitter than the pills. [[Tell the truth.]] [[Lie.]] [[Don't respond.]]

Same old room. The blinds are closed. There's a message notification on your computer. [[Check it.->sit at computer]]

It's a message from Bef- or actually- Beowulf. He makes everyone call him his full name now. Says it's more "professional", whatever that means. [[Open the message.->open message from friend]]

"Hey, C! Wanna hang out? The gang is going to Papi's. Meet us there!" The gang, so... Beowulf, Leia, August and Sage. Could be fun. [[Dad won't be happy about this, but you hate this class. Besides, it'd be good to go out and get some fresh air. Skipping class, here we go.->go see friend]] [[The class starts soon. You'll see them later. You can't afford to skip class.->join online class and see friend later]]

[[You sneak out the back door once dad leaves. He can't be angry with you if he doesn't know. It's sunny out. The leaves have all come in and pollen season is in full swing. ->leave the house]]

[[You'd rather not risk it. You'll see them all later.->thank you for playing]]

[[It could be worse. You walk, looking away from the ocean.->thank you for playing]]

Some old toys. A disassembled dollhouse. A little decorative shelf for your empty testosterone vials that you never got around to finishing. It's a bit of a mess. [[Look around the room.->room 2]]

Great. A message from the teacher. "Hi, Clarence, just wanted to check in. This is your third absence in the row - I hope everything is alright. Please send me a doctor's note so I can excuse those absences. Have a good day! - Mr. Pin." Ugh. [[Look around the room.->room 2]]

The upstairs corridor. There's a window here, facing out to the sea. [[Go to dad's bedroom.->go into dad's bedroom 2]] [[Go downstairs.->go downstairs 2]] [[Go back to your room.->room 2]]

Dad's bedroom. Empty. He left for work hours ago. [[Look at the bed.->dad's bed 2]] [[Look at the night stands->night stands 2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

The downstairs. It's not much of a landing, this isn't a big house. The stairs lead straigh out to the dining room. There's a note on the table. [[Read the note->read note from dad]] [[Ignore the note. Go to the kitchen.->go to kitchen 2]] [[Go back upstairs->leav the room 2]]

"I see you're not still up. I'm off to work. We'll talk when I'm back. Take your medication." Yikes, okay. Unhappy, then. Noted. [[Time for breakfast...?->go to kitchen 2]]

The kitchen is small. Very limited counter space, and only a mini fridge. Could be worse, though - the view from the backdoor window is nice. It's the only room in the house you can't see the ocean from. Looks like dad left a plate of breakfast for you. [[Look at the plate.->breakfast 2]]

Eggs, toast, now cold. A little sad, to be honest. [[Well... bottom's up...->eat 2]] [[You'd rather not, actually.->don't 2]]

You don't have to look very hard, to be honest. Dad has you keep them on the kitchen counter. They're organised in this annoying little pill organiser. Dad keeps filling it. You indulge him. [[You should indulge him more by taking them today.->take 2]] [[You're not a big fan of putting a substance in your body that actively makes you feel bad while trying (and failing) to make you feel better. No, thanks. ->don't 3]]

It's gonna worry dad, but you can't bring yourself to eat. You've been having nausea because of the new meds for the past few days. Speaking of which... [[Look for your meds.->meds 2]]

[[The living room is empty.->go upstairs 2]]

Same old room. The blinds are closed. There's a message notification on your computer. [[Hope it' not the teacher again.->sit at computer 2]]

It's not. It's a message from Bef- or actually- Beowulf. He makes everyone call him his full name now. Says it's more "professional", whatever that means. [[Open the message.->open message from friend 2]]

"Hey, C! Wanna hang out? The gang is going to Papi's. Meet us there!" The gang, so... Beowulf, Leia, August and Sage. Could be fun. [[It'd be good to go out and get some fresh air... I guess->go see friend 2]] [[Actually, you'd rather stay home.]]

[[You walk out. It's sunny out. The leaves have all come in and pollen season is in full swing. ->leave the house 3]]

Horse pills. They're bitter and awful. You leave them in the container. Dad can worry all he wants. [[Nothing left to do here... time to head back to the room. Back to the living room.->go to the living room]]

Thank you for playing! I hope you enjoyed. [[Restart?->warning]]

[[It could be worse. You walk, looking away from the ocean.->thank you for playing]]

Just your room. Blue walls, one window, a bed, a desk. Nothing to write home about. [[Look under the bed.->look under the bed 2]] [[Any new messages...? Open your laptop.->open laptop 2]] [[Look out the window.->window 2]] [[Leave your room.->leav the room 2]]

The blinds are drawn, but some light still makes it through. You know the window faces the ocean but don't really want to check. [[Look around the room.->room 2]]

Dad's bed, king size. One side is crumpled, the other looks freshly pressed. [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom 2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

The one on dad's side has a few magazines on it. The one on the other side looks empty. [[Examine dad's night stand->dad's night stand1]] [[Examine the other night stand->mom's night stand1]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

There's a table lamp here and a box of tissues. Two fishing magazines rest on top of it. [[Open the drawer.->dad's drawer 2]] [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom 2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

It's empty. [[Open the drawer->mom's drawer 2]] [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom 2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

It's empty. [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom 2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

There's a dusty picture in here... a wedding one, from like, what, twenty years ago? Dad's in a suit. You don't think you've ever seen him in one, except that one time, at the funeral. There's mom, too. You don't remember much about her. It's been years by this point. [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom 2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room 2]]

[[They're not gonna be disappointed.]]

Just your room. Blue walls, one window, a bed, a desk. Nothing to write home about. [[Look under the bed.->look under the bed]] [[Any new messages...? Open your laptop.->open laptop]] [[Look out the window.->window]] [[Leave your room.->leav the room]]

The blinds are drawn, but some light still makes it through. You know the window faces the ocean but don't really want to check. [[Look around the room.->room]]

The upstairs corridor. There's a window here, facing out to the sea. [[Go to dad's bedroom.->go into dad's bedroom]] [[Go downstairs.->go downstairs]] [[Go back to your room.->room]]

Dad's bed, king size. One side is crumpled, the other looks freshly pressed. [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

The one on dad's side has a few magazines on it. The one on the other side looks empty. [[Examine dad's night stand->dad's night stand2]] [[Examine the other night stand->mom's night standw2]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

It's empty. [[Open the drawer->mom's drawer]] [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

There's a table lamp here and a box of tissues. Two fishing magazines rest on top of it. [[Open the drawer.->dad's drawer]] [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

It's empty. [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

There's a dusty picture in here... a wedding one, from like, what, twenty years ago? Dad's in a suit. You don't think you've ever seen him in one, except that one time, at the funeral. There's mom, too. You don't remember much about her. It's been years by this point. [[Nothing too exciting... what else is there?->go into dad's bedroom]] [[Stop snooping. Leave the room.->leav the room]]

"I'm fine," you manage. It'll do. He doesn't care what you say, as long as you say something. After that stint in grade 10 and 11, he's glad you're talking at all. He doesn't smile, because he wouldn't, you're pretty sure he doesn't have the muscles to do that, but he doesn't look pissed, either. "Go get your breakfast, kid," he says. "I left some in the kitchen for you." [["Thanks, dad."->go to the kitchen]] [[Say nothing. Just go.->go to the kitchen]]

You tell him and go upstairs before you can get a response. [[go upstairs]]

You don't dignify him with a response. He accepts it. He has few other choices. [[go upstairs]]

You tell him and go upstairs before you can get a response. [[go upstairs]]

[[They're inviting you out of pity anyway.]]

[[Yep... that's for sure it.]]

[[You don't regret not going.]]

[[You don't.]]

[[You're fine->thank you for playing]]

The blaring sound of the alarm on your phone drags you slowly out of sleep. The curtains let through glimpses of the morning sun. By all accounts, it's seven AM. You have an online class in the morning and should make it count - the school year ends in a few weeks and your marks could use some improving. Are you going to get up? [[Just five more minutes...->5 mins more]] [[I don't want to, but it's time to get up.->get up]]

Thank you. Please don't hesitate to turn off the game if you become too upset to keep going. Use headphones for best experience. Try not to use the back button on the side. This is a short branching narrative. Your choices matter. Playing more than once will help you discover more things. [[Begin play->wake up]]